Missing Person Alert!

.3Last seen heading out for a leisurely swim in a Florida swamp while on vacation, senior Church executive Jenny Linson has gone missing.

“Jenny is such a hard and dedicated worker,” explained Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “that COB had to literally order her to take her annual Sea Org six week paid vacation.”

“Jenny decided upon a hiking and camping vacation in Six Mile Slough, a swamp preserve near Fort Meyers, Florida,” Delusion noted.

“We are also very concerned,” Delusion added, “about what happened to Marc Yager and Dave Bloomberg. We have not heard from either of them since they headed down to a very remote part of the Andes for a skydiving vacation.”

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Church of Scientology Launches NGAFAY Campaign!

Jenny“In order to terminatedly handle wogs, haters, SP’s, and bitter defrocked apostates, we in the Church of Scientology have launched a massive PR offensive,” announced Church of Scientology spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion.

“Entitled ‘Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!’ this new campaign will serve to put Scientology haters in their place by implanting them with a wrong item; no one wants to feel they are not important.”

“Millions of angry and hostile IAS members are now fanning out across the globe to disseminate billions of NGAFAY booklets. Each NGAFAY booklet contains a simple nonreligious message explaining why Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!”

“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige promises that the The NGAFAY program will confront and shatter suppression once and for all,” Delusion declared.

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New Scientology “Goodwill Ambassador” Disseminates The Way to Happiness!

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Church of Scientology International “Goodwill Ambassador” Jenny Linson is traveling the world spreading the positive, life-affirming, moral code contained in the The Way to Happiness.

As we in the Church of Scientology say on our own website:

“Entirely nonreligious, The Way to Happiness is both unique and powerful, whether in the hands of individuals or nations. Distributed in communities afflicted by violence, gangs and racism, it has brought calm. Passed out in areas ravaged by civil strife, it has brought peace. Used in thousands of prisons, its message has restored self-respect among the most hardened criminals, guiding them onto the path to becoming useful and contributing members of society.”

Please donate $1,000, $10,000,  $100,000 or more to help “Goodwill Ambassador” Jenny Linson disseminate The Way to Happiness.

Now more than ever Jenny Linson needs help!

David Miscavige Accepts Jesus as His Personal Savior

jesus-calls-wallpapersDavid Miscavige clutched a Bible in his hands. He humbly stared down at his feet and began slowly speaking.

“I am a changed man since I accepted Jesus as my personal lord and savior… I see the error of my ways, the lies, the abuse… it was all wrong.”

“I grew up in the Church of Scientology… I didn’t know any better… I didn’t know it was wrong to lie, to beat people, and to take people’s money by making them buy the same old books and trophies over and over. I am… I must confess, the hapless victim of a religious cult.”

DM,101“But now I’m a new man and I want to begin a new life.”

“I want to turn over a new leaf. My plan is to open and fund a charity to help people at the scenes of accidents. To teach children how to read….”

“Oh please! Let me stop you right there Mr. Miscavige,” said the Federal judge. “I am not swayed by your religious conversion. The court rejects your plea for clemency and sentences you to twenty-five years to life!”

“Bailiffs! Take him away!”

David Miscavige awoke from yet another nightmare, his third one in a week.

OSA Investigation Reveals the Hidden SP’s on COB’s Lines!

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An OSA investigation has uncovered a troika of three hidden SP’s on COB’s lines.  Linson, Yager, and Bloomberg were sent in long ago as deep cover sleeper agents by Psychiatry to wreak havoc and destroy COB and the Church — and they almost succeeded until they overplayed their hand at LAX.

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Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO Int Internal Security Services.

“The honeypot trap Jenny Linson has proven herself to be particularly dangerous and effective in sabotaging COB RTC David Miscavige,” declared Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO Int Internal Security Services.

“It was only due to the hard work of OSA that Linson was finally exposed as a spy, a wrecker, and a diversionary who quickly and constantly blamed others for her own crimes.”

COB reacted harshly to the revelation that Linson, Yager, and Bloomberg were behind the decades of leaks and attacks upon himself and the Church of Scientology:

Video by Panopea Abrupta

Ask COB Anything

DM.Sydney.3Time once again for one of our favorite features:

Ask COB Anything!

We in RTC are engaging in this unusual solution in order to out create the 500,000+ views (and climbing) YT video that some SP got when he filmed three key Sea Org who were on a mission of mercy to handle him.

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